Mummy’s Tricks!

As parents everyone invents their own tricks to deal with the kids. If you reflect upon it, some of these tricks come across as very funny. I would like to share a few tricks of my mom that I found amusing.

I remember my pre-primary school days when we (my brother and I) used to resist going to school; I guess since we were a little afraid of our teachers. So, mom used to get us ready, dressed up for school and then we go to sleep! Oh, Yeah! We were put to sleep in school dress. Mom would then put us in bullock cart (that’s our official school bus of the yore). We would wake up seeing the teacher in school ;( We never dared even to cry in front of the teacher! This was our pre-primary routine. As we grew up, I realize mom was continuously improvising too!

Once we reached primary school, mom started working on disciplining us into a study routine. She would wake up early in the morning and would wake us up too. We would get extremely upset at losing our sleep. Morning 5:00 AM is inhumanly hour, at least for me. She would serve us a hot cup of coffee and set us up on our study table for a couple of hours of time with books. She would then move on with her work in the kitchen. Randomly, she would check on us (by calling out to us) if we are at our books. The otherwise fighting brother and sister are great friends during this study hour. Whoever hears her would nudge the other (depending on whose name she had called out) to respond. We thought we had teamed up well to trick her and steal some sleep. Bad luck! Mom caught up with us pretty quickly. She would silently slip into our room, grab the books from the study table, go back to kitchen and then call out for us. Hmm! We would wake up with a start to only find that we were caught napping ;( The next few hours would be tough to redeem ourselves.

There are more such tricks of my mom that I recollect and at times replay with my own kids. But surely it is a continuous catch up game with kids and a tough one, too.

The Door

It had come up in one of our usual dinner time discussions. One of my friends was worried that the door to his house would come off the hinges and has to be fixed soon. He was generally worried about securing his place and was looking for some advice on kind of material to use, thickness of material, locking systems and so on.

Some of the experienced folks observed that it is really tough to secure a place and heaped a whole lot of advice - buy tough ones, secure with biometric-responsive locks, even go for a video eye and a security alarm!

While it is not my problem, it did set me thinking. Do we have to spend so much to secure our places? The lock, the material thickness, the premises of our place, and people around seem to be our biggest concern. Now, do we even need the door?

As a matter of fact, there is a place close to Shirdi (India) where the houses in the village have no doors! Seriously. There is also another village in Karnataka with similar no-door houses.

Dictionary meaning for the door is "a movable barrier to open and close something". Evidently, the keywords are barrier, open and close. 

Hmm! The need to put barriers, need to selectively share or give access, to whatever it is, seems to be the reason for the very existence of the door. The door is in a way sign of exclusion, and mistrust. Only if we mistrust, is there a need to close. Only if we close, is there a need to open. 

In a community, where the mind is clear of all cobwebs and mutual trust exists, the door can be shown the door! Well, no physical material can secure our places as securely as the collective mind shift can.

Now, what does it need to build such mutual trust? Patience and willingness to understand each other? Giving or sharing without inhibitions? Let us hear you out.

Simple things

Exuberance of the kid is something that awes me endless.

My kid loves to display us (me and my spouse) in front of his friends at school. He loves us to visit his school often. I for one is not a very social person and prefer to keep to myself most of the times. I must admit though that I love to be with kids. My kid was continuously coaxing me to join him at school. Eventually, one day it so happened that I had time off from office but he did not. So, I decided to chime in and go to school, after a long gap of unforgotten years ;)

We go down to school on the bike, his favorite commute means. We reach early and I walk him down to the school. Here starts my grand tour.

As we enter the premises, I was grandly directed to the parking lot; and even warned that I should be parking the other side and not where I parked my bike. Reason, I parked in place where his friend’s dad would park! Oh, oh! I move my bike. On the small walkway to the school is a dense vegetation on either sides. I now get an introduction of all the plants that they hide behind, the spot where they laze for a while during their run around, the deep-inside spot beyond which kids are not supposed to go.

It was about time and other kids are trickling in. I now see my kid jumping about excitedly at the opportunity of introducing me to his friends. To each arriving little one, I get introduced.

Here, I discover my kids versatility with lingua. I get introduced to some as “maaja baba aala”, to some as “see my papa”, to some as “mere papa aayehi”. There were two things that really surprised me. Kids’ ability to figure out the language to switch over to upon seeing the person, and the unbridled excitement in announcing to all of my presence. It was almost an embarrassment for me to see the other parents watching me curiously ;) On the other hand, I basked in the glory of being the trophy on my kids’ hand. After all the kids are in and gathered for the morning assembly, he is gone into his own world and totally forgot my presence. I headed back home leaving him at school.

Long after that I still kept thinking … what makes the kid so excited about my simple bodily presence at the school? Why do I not enjoy as good as a kid at some of the simple things in life – going out with papa, looking at the same set of items and deriving pleasure at showing it to others? When did I stop enjoying these simple things? Even the open display of excitement / emotion (I am no stoic, by the way)? Is there a way I can get back to similar state of mind? I am still searching for answers. May be one day, my/some kid will teach me and I am looking forward to it.

Music has no barriers.

Hindustani classical music has its own charm. But I grew up mostly tuned to Carnatic music. It is not an easy transition into Hindustani. Luckily, Pune is culturally a very vibrant city. There are musical events almost every other day. A lot of folks that I interact with are personally into music and that gives some additional exposure. So, I had the opportunity to listen to notable exponents of Hindustani classical, albeit in electronic form. However, I did not attend a real concert in a long long while. After a kid in the family that has become a more distant possibility as it is difficult to keep the kid quiet for two hours at a go. So, I no more know if I can successfully sit through an entire concert undistracted.

One of our friends had invited us to a concert organized at their terrace garden. Concerts like this, small gatherings, are more challenging as the size of the group being small the tolerance level to distractions is typically very low. And, my 4-year old kid is the most boisterous of the lot – never to sit at one place for any decent length of time. I do not know how he would react to the idea of sitting at one place watching an artist sing classical music. Watching movies sitting at one place is different from this. There you see more action and story building up to catch the kids’ attention. But musical concert is surely a different ball game. My hesitation in accepting the invite is natural.

Much against my own wishes, I accepted the invite and started mentally preparing an outline on how to keep the kid occupied so he does not distract others. It was Saturday morning and the October heat is yet to turn on. The showers the previous day had kept the climate pleasant. The concert was to start at 9:30AM. The selected theme for the concert is ‘Morning Ragas’ by Shri Vikas Parikh, disciple of Pandit Jasraj. We all gathered on the terrace on time and settled for the concert to begin. Everything seemed to be perfectly set.

I chose a seat far from the dais so the noises made by the kid are not heard easily. We had a bunch of Calvin and Hobbes’ comic books & coloring material to keep the kid busy. It seemed to be working and I was looking forward to a great morning.

As it has to be, things got delayed on the concert front. The support artist on harmonium instrument did not arrive and there was a last minute scramble. Eventually, things got sorted out and we started at 10:00AM, a good half hour late. Meanwhile, my kid was skimming through the comics at a great pace! The melodious ragas offset any disappointment at the late start. We were all heartily enjoying the ragas when my kid suddenly reported that he is through with all the books and wanted to do something else. That was like a lightning bolt! We were hardly 40 minutes into the show. I struggled to keep him tied at one place; but very soon it was getting difficult. I asked him to go out quietly and play. He would not listen. He caught sight of the music instruments and wanted to move close to dais. Lo & behold! There he is. Pleasantly sitting in front of the dais, watching the artists play the instruments, listening to the ragas with rapt attention. At the end of the concert, he even clapped heartily!

True, music has no barriers. The kid seems to have connected well.

We all had thoroughly enjoyed the concert and I was really happy that I did accept the invite. Folks around were asking me why I was distracting the kid when he has such good interest in music. Hmm! Now, that's a new discovery for me too.

Dabbler’s Day Out!

One of these weekends, we visited a neighbor and were impressed with the paintings at their place. The lady seems to keep good interest in art and has adorned walls of her house with her own work. It looked great!

Now, some of these social visits come with certain side effects! And we are no exceptions ;) The following day saw us pull out our stationary and dabble at art.

I set myself up to do modern art. Excuse me for my ignorance, but to me modern art is some random but flowing strokes of the brush soiled with random mix of colors. With that “simple” outlook towards modern art, I pulled out a canvas and a coloring tray. But I found myself faced with a predicament. What color mix will look good? Should I really try random strokes? Or, should I try some pattern? Well, finally I have to do something that goes well with my walls. Right, eh? After considerable time spent figuring out which way, I remembered reading some where that a real artist just lets himself go; lets the heart take over. Great, I can try that! I close my eyes, relax for a couple of moments and without opening my eyes, start swaying the brush as if trying to capture the random thoughts buzzing in my head. (Well, I thought closing my eyes will bring my heart out). After a few minutes of “bringing-my-heart-out”, I was curious to see how it turned out. No marks for guessing. It surely was random strokes but suitable only to adorn my waste basket!

Meanwhile, my kid and wife were having a stifled laugh at my great display of art-passion. They were silently capturing me on the film, too.

Next, I turned to sketches. Having failed miserably at painting, I reassured myself aloud that I can do better with a pencil. This time I wised up. I decided to reproduce an image from a sketch book. After an hour of strenuous work, I could do passport photograph size portion of the image and looked around for appreciation. My folks scrutinized the work and “encouraged” that I am on track but should try doing it one more time from scratch. After all, practice makes a man perfect. This frank feedback brought me down and I gave up for the day.

I took solace in the thought that neither my kid nor my wife could come up with something that can be displayed around the house.

Hmm! I may not have succeeded in bringing out the “master-piece”, but it sure was a fun family moment – each one trying to do their best, laughing at each others’ failed attempt, and renewed interest in learning something new. Oh, did I say, I now appreciate art as a rare skill.